In the Family Way

The constant struggle for many women is when, where, how and whether to have children. This has a particular degree of poignancy for me because I am absolutely dying to have a child, but cannot overcome an outright phobia of child birth, and also need to heal a bit before I allow myself to start a family. I am unfortunately prone to many fears, and another incessant one is that if I were to start a family prior to attending graduate school, I would become a never-was. And, in speaking to everyone – friends, family, coworkers, professors, especially my husband – there is entirely too much potential for me to waste it and not use it. I know that I need to focus and stay the course, but I would be lying if I said that there were days when I didn’t consider simply packing everything in and having children. It’s incredibly challenging, but everyone else tells me that it will be rewarding. I just have to hope that they’re right.

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